


Mine Eye May Be Deceived

by TMar



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 11:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16366613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMar/pseuds/TMar
Summary: A writing exercise about Picard and the person he loves. Or something. Give me a break, I wrote this in 1993!





	Mine Eye May Be Deceived

Picard sat across the dinner table from the person that he loved  
and reflected on everything that had happened since he had discovered  
this fact. Because he had only realised it - actually, admitted it  
to himself - two days ago, not much had; yet he knew that his outlook  
on life was definitely different now.

It was amazing what love could do to a person. Life had never been  
boring, but it now had a new exhilirating quality to it. He seemed  
to be eager to face each day now that he had something to look  
forward to in it, and his sense of humour had definitely improved as  
well. He knew why that was, and smiled to himself.

The smile was caught by his blue-eyed dinner guest, who smiled  
back sincerely and asked, "What is it, Jean-Luc?"

"Nothing. I was just... thinking."

"About?"

"How everything in my personal and emotional life has changed over  
the past 48 hours."

"Is everything going too fast? I can be... insistent."

Picard looked up from his plate again, into that beloved face, and  
saw concern there. Concern... and other things. "No," he said. "I...  
you know me, I... I tend to be cautious."

"And you've decided to throw caution to the winds?"

Picard smiled rather shyly. "In essence, yes."

"I supposed I've always had that effect on people."

Picard knew how true that was, but didn't agree in this case.  
"It's not you, not this time. It's me. My life seems so different  
now."

"It will get even more different if the crew finds out. They might  
think that we'll be unable to do our jobs."

"That's nonsense!" Jean-Luc protested.

"I know that."

There was silence again, as both contemplated what had been said.  
Picard wished he knew what was going on behind that calm facade; it  
made him nervous. In fact, the facade the captain was staring at was  
just that: a facade, to hide the worries inside. On starships,  
relationships between crew members were allowed, but those between  
senior staff - senior engineers, command crew, medical personnel,  
etc, tended to be slightly discouraged because of the risk of  
personal feelings getting in the way.

Most people were professional Starfleet officers and could get  
past personal feelings, but a few had trouble with that.

Now a frown appeared on the calm facade, unnerving both of them  
terribly.

Slowly, Picard said, "You actually suspect that one or both of us  
could have trouble with our personal feelings."

"No, Jean-Luc."

"No? I'm your captain. I can tell when you're keeping things back.  
Don't do that," Picard ordered.

"All right, so I'm a bit worried. About myself, not you."

"We'll do fine, I promise you."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I am."

That particular line of conversation ended right there. Picard had  
promised it, and when the captain of the Enterprise promised  
something, it came to pass.

So conversation turned to more mundane matters. Picard now spoke  
about his vacations, since, being part of the same crew, they both  
knew about all the ship's missions. Picard spoke of the only vacation  
where he'd been forced to be idle: the one on Risa. They discussed  
the beauty of the planet and its mysteries... but Picard saidnothing  
about Vash. He didn't need to, either - one look in those blue eyes  
told him he had better not mention her. Not here. Not tonight. Then  
they turned to shop talk: the ship, the crew, their schedules, and  
so on. Eventually both became aware that they were avoiding the real  
issue: why Picard had set this dinner up tonight.

Picard's thoughts churned when he pondered what to say. He had  
wanted the company, enjoyed the feeling of being in love, and had  
decided that dinner would be a perfect forum for that. He knew,  
though, that his guest might have read something else into it. And,  
suddenly, he realised that there WAS something more to it. But he  
didn't know what, and when he looked up, he realised that even if he  
didn't know, the person across the table did.

"I think we've been avoiding the issue, Captain." It was the first  
time he'd been addressed by his rank the entire night. Idly, Picard  
wondered if this was a good sign, or a bad sign, or just a sign of  
old habits dying hard.

"Yes, I know. But..." Picard forced himself to say the name he'd  
always liked, feeling awkward - not that he'd never said it before,  
but it had always been on a slightly different wavelength to now.  
"I'm not sure I know what the issue is."

"If you don't want to know, I'll leave." Behind those words, the  
captain heard the real ones: if you're uncertain, tell me to go right  
now. Picard wasn't uncertain, though. 

"I do want to know," he said.  
"I'm just... frightened that after this there will be no turning  
back."

"A person can always turn back, even have their memory erased if  
it bothers them that much."

"Are we talking about the same thing?"

The blue eyes looked in the direction of the bedroom, and became  
extremely amused. "I certainly hope so."

Picard put his napkin on the table and stood up. "All right." He  
didn't say, 'Let's get it over with,' but it was clear from his  
stance. Those blue eyes looked up at him. "I don't think I want  
anything happening if you have that attitude, Jean-Luc."

"You're right, I'm sorry." Picard walked forward and extended his  
hand. It was taken, and Picard led his guest towards the bedroom. The  
door opened, and he turned. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"Oh, yes."

They went through, and the door closed behind them.

***

Picard awoke first when the comm panel chimed, calling all  
engineering personnel to an urgent meeting about the dilithium  
chamber. Normally, such a call would not be routed to the captain's  
quarters, but Jean-Luc Picard liked to know what was going on on his  
ship all the time.

He asked the computer what the time was; it was early. He knew  
that neither of them had to be on duty for at least another hour. He  
turned over, expecting to see a sleeping form... and came into  
contact with a pair of wide-awake eyes, and a smile second to none.

"Good morning, Captain."

In spite of himself, Picard smiled. It was a sincere smile, a  
happy smile. By the look on the face just inches from his, he knew  
that this was a smile both had waited a long time for. But Picard  
only said, "Good morning to you, too."

"Ready to have your memory erased?"

In a startled tone Picard said, "What?"

"It's a joke."

"Oh."

"So, what are we doing today?"

"I hope we won't encounter any godlike aliens," he said  
matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, they can really mess up a person's life."

There were two sets of sincere smiles at that remark, full of  
light and love.

And of course the klaxon sounded and ruined it.

"Godlike aliens?"

"Godlike aliens."

Both bounded out of bed at warp speed. Picard picked up his  
uniform and put it on - it was a very good replication and didn't  
wrinkle easily. His guest, however, was having trouble. "Where's my  
uniform?"

"Ah..." Picard tried to remember where it had been removed. Both  
began rummaging around under the bed. "Got it."

Picard stood up and went to the door, which opened. "I've got to  
get to the bridge." Both were all business again. Which, of course,  
was necessary.

"I'll just put my uniform on and then I'll join you there."

"All right, Number One."

The door closed.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Technically, this is a slash story. But to put that at the top would have  
> given away the identity of the other person, which I aimed to keep secret. I'm definitely not a Picard/Riker slasher (now, Kirk/Spock... hell yes) but I wanted to try something different.
> 
> This story was published in the zine "Bedside Manners" ages ago.


End file.
